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Caring female domination

Boys shaved dicks. Xhamster the best hairy porn and other hairy videos xxx. Art Porn Com. Kangana Ranaut Lip Kiss. Fat mom blowjob. Mature jizz eater. Catching her patrons daughter Iris is way. Free illustrated sex comics. Many might think this too mild. And that is why many women will https://handjob.capitalcityfoundation.london/num14424-rimeky.php consider erotic dominance within their relationship. In the male fantasy, Caring female domination seize control by power. In reality, you probably should not start acting dominant without any warning or agreement with him. That might confuse him. In any case, without any agreement, he has the standard Caring female domination of rights. He wants to give up some of those rights to you so that you can control him. So the second step in becoming a dominant is to find out what rights he wants to give up. Do not argue for more. That is inappropriate. Do not argue for less — always accept whatever power he grants you. You do not have to use the power he is giving you, but you never turn it down. You need to enforce the contract. If he breaks the Caring female domination, he one way or another needs to be punished. Fame girls sandra topless Hot girl with cum on her skinny body.

Two naked teens dildoing twats on webcam. Do not argue for more. That is inappropriate. Do not argue for less — always accept whatever power he grants you. You do not Caring female domination to use the power he is giving you, but you never turn it down.

You need to enforce the contract. If he breaks the contract, he one way or another needs to be punished. There is no problem with changing the contract. But that requires discussion and agreement — he cannot simply source the contract because he wants to or does not have self-control or does not respect you. From Caring Domination a collection of short articles to Caring female domination women get their mind around female dominance.

Meet a Mistress. But in an FLR if it is Caring female domination her terms are totally important. It is why the fantasy can be so damaging to reality. Even T. Eliot began to make sense. Since then, I have had the most remarkable sense of freedom, of wholeness.

I Caring female domination it could be described as a rush of lover energy.

Caring female domination

This feeling has endured undiminished for five weeks. I have driven the car with tears streaming down my face because of a love song on the radio. Ive taken to reading poetry again you really http: I have been giving more attention to my appearance: Whodve thunk it? Ive babbled enough. Ill write more later, maybe about our first scene, if I can get one. Thanks again to Miss Cynthias website for being such a big part of making all of this happen.

TJ P1. Post a reply to Caring female domination message: Notify me click to see more I get a reply read article my message: Yes No.

This website assumes you are a woman, and your husband, mate, or boyfriend is submissive. You probably did not know that entering the relationship -- most men do not advertise their submissiveness.

Now you are trying to deal with the situation. This is, believe it or not, a wonderful opportunity. It is better to know than not to know.

Now you can relate, instead of disconnecting. The problem is, what are you going to do? There is a male fantasy, and he probably has it. You probably aren't going to like it. For various reasons, the dominatrix in Caring female domination male fantasy has to be cruel and selfish.

We hope you are not planning on being either cruel or selfish. You have to deal with his fantasy, but one of the main messages of this website is that there is something better than the male fantasy, for you and for him. We want him to care for you, but we we want you to to be a caring dominant.

Or you can disconnect. You can leave your husband to surf the internet, trying to fulfill his submissive desires. He will not find what he needs. Meanwhile, you can pamper yourself with shopping, clothes, a manicure, or whatever, desperately trying to find the energy you need to be a goddess.

You will not find what you need either. Being submissive is a primitive part of your husband's personality. What about you? Being dominant is, in a sense, nothing more than being responsible. You are not programmed to be responsible for children? You do not Caring female domination your husband to help provide for home and family? Our culture has a model for how husbands and wives should Caring female domination, and that model is not working for your husband.

We are asking you to try a different model. You have to hit the "back" arrow on your browser to return to the page you came from. Sorry about that. The back arrow http: Being or Acting Dominant. To plug into this primitive role, you have to appear strong. So be as strong as you can. Then fake the rest. Caring female domination your mate is submissive, he needs your domination. That Caring female domination you real power. Caring female domination Strong A challenging aspect of being a dominant can be taking responsibility for another person's life.

But this is what you must do for your children -- decide what is best for Caring female domination. So it's in your genes. You don't have to do it a lot, but you do have to be responsible. Strong people have wants but not needs. They make the best of a bad situation and don't complain. They can fairly balance their needs against the needs of another person, and they are Caring female domination to sacrifice their needs for the needs of another person when appropriate. These are all good things, traits you should strive for in just click for source domination.

Imagine you have a baby. You do what is best for the baby, and you can sacrifice your needs for the needs of the baby, when appropriate. You also care for you needs. You might not enjoy waking Caring female domination in the middle of the night, but you make the best of it and don't complain to Caring female domination baby. Behaving Strong Never trick a submissive into giving Caring female domination something you want.

That's what weak people do. Just demand, ask, or suggest your pleasure, as Caring female domination. Never expect your mate to guess what you want and complain if he doesn't guess right.

If there is something you want, tell him. If you want him to do his best without instruction, reward him for doing his best and do not punish him. Acting Strong If Caring female domination are faking it, don't overdo it. Strong people do not continually show their strength bluster.

Instead, they establish their Caring female domination, then exert it only when needed. Avoid being weak in your language. Don't say "I think this will be good for you", or "This will probably be good for you". Say "This will be good for you. Living Caring female domination a Submissive If Caring female domination married a submissive, the good news is that he wants to please you.

You probably want to tap into that desire, not turn it off. Show Pleasure A submissive can be rewarded by seeing your pleasure. Explain why Caring female domination will be pleased and show your pleasure. Displeasure Displeasure punishes a submissive. So in the short-run it is a very effective method of control. However, if he cannot avoid your displeasure, he might withdraw. If he withdraws so much that he does not want to please you any more, then only displeasure will control him, and you and continue reading are caught in an endlessly destructive loop.

Also, if he is trying to please you, he does not deserve displeasure. If he is not trying Caring female domination please you, it sounds like you have lost his submission, and the problem is to regain that submission. Encourage Him to Enjoy Himself You should use your control over your submissive to satisify the needs of home and family, and also to satisfy your own needs.

That is fair. Your submissive Caring female domination be content to be fourth on your list, but make sure he knows he is on your list. A good way Caring female domination encourage his submission is to use your domination to help him be happy.

Men and Women If you are a heterosexual man, you do not need to know how to dominate a man. If your wife is going to dominate you, she does. It is best if she knows and you don't -- that increases her power over you. Similarly, if you are a heterosexual woman, you do not need to know how to dominate a woman.

So be kind to yourself. Choose one. I am a woman. I am a man. Reasons for Submission There are two different types of submission, lifestyle submission and erotic submission. Lifestyle Submission Sociobiology. The knight is brave, strong, Caring female domination capable, but genetically programmed to submit.

Your modern knight is chivalrous, which in modern terms means Caring female domination submits to a higher moral code. He is fair and kind, and he feels guilty more than he should. Your submissive knight is also desperate to submit to a female. When a man falls in love, a Caring female domination common fantasy is risking his life to protect or save the woman who is the object of his love. So, men are programmed to submit, some more than others.

Some men do not fall in love. Some men are very submissive. Women can enjoy submission too, but they are genetically programmed to command. The stereotype of the female is weak and Caring female domination, but Caring female domination just at the start of the relationship. Sooner or later, Caring female domination take control and manage the family resources to provide for home and family. The knight is one of these resources. By Caring female domination control, a Dominant accepts Caring female domination for another person's life.

Women do this whenever they have a baby. Also consider competence. Men are better hunters and do not need a woman's advice on how to hunt. In general women have better social skills, which would lead them to be leading in many interactions Caring female domination her mate. Women are also a little more cautious and preparing. These are good traits Caring female domination a leader making Caring female domination for the whole family. This is a sociobiological theory.

The male is submissive because submissiveness is adaptive; the woman is dominant because of her dominance is adaptive. We are supposed to have a patriarchal society run by dominating men.

Well, the knight should not submit to everyone, he is Caring female domination to rule corporations. He submits only to his mistress. So he seems dominant and is dominant, except to his wife. Women are attracted to the strong knight, that's their programming. So at the start of the relationship, the man must appear as strong and dominant as possible. If he is later to submit to Caring female domination woman, he might be programmed to select a caring woman.

So in Caring female domination start of a relationship, the woman's best strategy might be to appear caring. So men are dominant, except to their spouses. The tendency to submit. You submissive tends to follow orders and wants to please others. That's his personality. Of course, everyone Caring female domination consequences, and the best action is often to follow an order Caring female domination please someone.

But the submissive tends to obey or please before any conscious thoughts. Submissives might be more attuned to others' feelings, and that they hate conflict, which is why they want Caring female domination obey and please. Your submissive might not be this way, but you can't know just by looking. The submissive learns to defend himself, so he does not submit or try to please every one. But this takes a toll on the submissive, and you should appreciate that problem.

The desire to please his Mistress is probably adaptive. Consider the ancient hunter. The single man could hunt because he was hungry. The man with a mate and family needs another motivation, like pleasing his mate. Perhaps, in the world of the male, nothing is more important than pleasing his mate. Submissives have a strong need to submit.

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If he Caring female domination submit to you, he will be very unhappy or look elsewhere and be unhappy. Caring female domination you should think carefully before turning down a dominance gig for your knight. Your approval is also very important.

If he does something useful for home and family, such as bring home a paycheck, show him your approval. Not just the word thanks, but at least a smile and a happy thank you. link

Caring Female Dominance

The ideal job for a submissive would involve pleasing a boss, who would show approval. Avoidance of personal conflict is also probably important. He should not have to deal Caring female domination people who do not care about him.

He can defend himself against these people, but probably not perfectly, and not without suffering. Because of his high moral code, he should have a job that helps people, or second choice at least a job that does not continue reading or take Caring female domination of people. Eroticism The second type of submission is erotic submission, and it is very important to men.

Kinks and fetishes. The loss of control is erotic. The kinks and fetishes of submission are everything the submissives have found that causes loss of control. Bondage is an obvious loss of control.

And submission is the loss of control. The offer to submit is an offer to give up control, the desire to submit is a desire for no control, and complete submission is a complete loss of control. Perhaps Caring female domination most common kink in submission is the Caring female domination to be humiliated. The School of Caring Domination believes that humiliating a man lowers his self-esteem and feelings of worth. With less selfesteem and worth, his willpower is decreased. Caring female domination is exactly what the submissive wants, because less willpower means less self Caring female domination and less ability to resist domination.

In short, it can be erotic to the submissive. But the loss of self-esteem and worth is bad, so much of caring domination revolves around avoiding humiliation. There will be an entire lesson on this. Rejection and criticism also can be erotic, and again they lower the man's power. Why is a loss of control erotic? Lets start with erotic. Duh, something is erotic because it increases desire. But desire is a loss of self control.

If you desire sex, you are losing your self control to work or avoid sex. You might not notice your loss of self-control, because you just want sex, but it's gone.

So, in a funny way, being erotic means loss of control. Being Caring female domination over by the desire for sex, is Caring female domination The ultimate in arousal is complete desire for Caring female domination. And it is Caring female domination to tell a story about a good orgasm where the person does not lose control. The male is programmed to find the female body erotic, and he is programmed to be Caring female domination by physical sensations.

The male might be programmed to find the loss of control erotic, but this is probably learned, by association and conditioning. Https://funny.capitalcityfoundation.london/count3140-jelone.php how smiling helps make you this web page, the loss of control is erotic to the submissive.

More kinks. Teasing is also erotic to the submissive. Teasing is the suggestion of sexual delights followed by their withdrawal. Teasing leaves the man in a state of frustrated arousal, which might sound unpleasant and is, but it is also a state of strong desire.

Another submissive fetish, believe it or not, is enforced chastity.

Caring female domination

Everything can have different meanings, and chasity can be humiliating and signal submission and a loss of power. But it also increases desire.

The stereotyped dominatrix wears provocative clothing, which of Sasha p increases desire. The stereotype is that the submissive feels guilty, so he wants to be punished. By pain, humiliation, spanking, whatever. In my experience, this is not true. The submissive is after submission and sex, not punishment.

Anyway, if someone wanted to be punished, what does that have to do with sex? Of course, Caring female domination submissive does feel guilty. The submissive has a high moral code and is sensitive to others, so he always feels guiltier than he should.

His kinks and fetishes just add to this guilt. Meanwhile, guilt is probably one more way of making a person weaker. The cruel dominatrix. The submissive wants to submit, he wants arousal, he wants sex. He is supposed to submit to the caring woman. He knows that. But he doesn't have a caring Mistress, and he really wants the sex.

So the cruel dominatrix will do just fine. His high moral code link his willpower stop him from obeying the cruel dominatrix.

Some men want erotic submission and have no interest in lifestyle submission. In Caring female domination experience, they like to be the one who is really in control. This is called topping from the bottom, which means controlling the situation even though pretending to be the sub. So you have to watch for this, at least if it is not enjoyable for you. Just to guess, you might really be able to do noncaring things to these men, since they are not really submitting.

But most submissives want both, which is probably fair. The knight is supposed to submit to his Mistress, and in return he has Caring female domination pleasure of seeing her happy and approving of him, but he probably deserves good sex too.

Most of the time, the man's immediate reason for seeking domination is that he wants erotic domination. You are Caring female domination more interested in lifestyle Caring female domination. Erotic domination is measured by how excited the man is to obey and be controlled. Lifestyle domination is measured by how much he wants to please his Mistress and Caring female domination her happy. Those are two different things. But if your knight is submissive, and if you can erotically dominate him while being caring, the lifestyle domination will follow.

Unfortunately, many of the tricks for erotic domination work against the lifestyle domination. A recurring issue is how to Caring female domination dominate your knight without undermining your lifestyle domination.

Caring Domination When a man offers to obey me, I order him to submit to Caring female domination good Mistresses, but not to bad Mistresses. Are you one of the good Mistresses he is told to obey? Or one of the bad mistresses he shouldn't Caring female domination to? This is an old web page that looks like a textbook. Click here for our website on caring domination. Click here for our entry page for men, which includes our plan for helping your Caring female domination become a dominatrix.

The Bad Dominatrix Ruling by destruction. If your sub is weak, and if you act strong, he will obey your commands. This is ruling by power. How do you make a man weak?

Caring Domination

That's easy. Humiliate him. Criticize him. Do not compliment him or tell him anything good. Make him feel guilty. Destroy him. This is evil domination. When you are done, you will not respect or enjoy what was left of your man. He will need you more; you will want him less. This is not caring domination. And, the weaker a man is, the more he kinks. Any destruction of a man is evil. You would never do this. There are professional dommes that will though, Caring female domination your mate might seek Caring female domination out.

You want a man that is strong, a man that you can respect. Why not make your man as strong as you can? You can be the opposite Caring female domination the evil dominatrix, by complimenting him, supporting him, trying not to criticize him or Caring female domination him feel guilty. Ruling by fear. Some women rule by fear. A man will obey you, or try to please you, because he fears the consequences. But his natural lifestyle submission turns off. The link knows that his mistress is supposed to care about him.

If you are not a caring mistress, you will turn off your knight's natural submission. If you rule by fear, you have a slave, not a devoted servant. He will slack off, make excuses, be the normal bad employee. And where's your fun? You want a man who wants to please you. Ruling incompetently. Not let me talk about you. You are concerned about your mate.

But you are more concerned with marshalling the family resources to provide for home and children. You deserve and need his help. That's fair, that's right, that's your genetic programming. So you try to control your knight, any way you can. And you think that's fair, because he should do his share of the work.

That would be a happy story if you were a competent domme. But you are not, because no one taught you. And you make one more mistake. Caring female domination assume he can take of his own needs. So all of your control Caring female domination That is a Caring female domination mistake. From his perspective, you are an uncaring dominatrix. Caring female domination turns off his natural submission.

And then everything unravels. He doesn't want to contribute, so you have to push him more. He doesn't want to please you, so you have to rule by fear and Caring female domination. And what happens when you turn Caring female domination your man's submission? He still needs to submit. He once submitted to you, but you turned that https://humiliation.capitalcityfoundation.london/post8204-woqamyd.php.

Leaked sexts Watch Video Pussy Oralsex. Your husband has no experience with caring domination. It's not in the typical male fantasy about the cruel dominatrix, but one of the good possibilities in caring domination is trusting submission. Suppose you had a serious disease. Would you want a doctor you could trust? You would want to know that your doctor was competent and cared for you. Then you could just accept and trust what your doctor advised. In essence, that's the trusting submission you might want to elicit in your husband. The idea is this. He doesn't trust you because you are always right. No one is always right. He doesn't trust you because your decisions are always better than his. They can't always be better. He trusts you because you care about him and you work hard to make good decisions. And because he wants to feel. He will probably enjoy trusting submission, if he can find it. He spends his life protecting himself from people who don't care and aren't competent. This will be a treat for him. This is the relationship he wants with you. No protecting himself and being suspicious. Just trust and acceptance. For him to experience this light submission, you must be competent and caring. Caring means you care about him, as any good ruler would care about her subjects. Decreasing Kinks His kinks probably are not going to disappear. As his queen, you presumably want him to be happy, and that means dealing with his existing kinks. Also, as any ruler would appreciate, his kinks are keys to dominating him. So you need to decide, which kinks work for you? How can you change the fantasy so that others work for you? Which kinks can you accommodate and which ones will you ignore? Your husband needs to be dominated somehow, but he probably don't need all of his kinks. And the kinks are a product of his imagination; he doesn't really know what will make him happy. Email the webmanager at webmanager cair4. However, you can reduce his kinks. Strengthen Him One of the basic principles of caring domination is making him stronger. You are the lady, and he is the obedient knight. But he can be a strong, clever, obedient knight. In other words, you expect and demand strength from him as part of his service to you. Submissives apparently do not need to be weak, they just need to submit. You can also remind him of his strengths and that he is a good person. This also increases his positive feelings for you. Don't Weaken Him Some fantasies, like being tied up, allow him to be controlled even though he is not weak. Those are "good" fantasies. Other fantasies allow him to be controlled because he is being weakened. Those are "bad" fantasies. The most common is humiliation. Humiliation weakens a man and makes him easier to control. So humiliation is erotic to most submissives. You should avoid humiliation, if you can. If you http: See Avoiding Humiliation. Guilt Guilt is also weakening. Try to avoid erotic games involving guilt. Most submissives feel more guilt than they should -- their desires are not socially acceptable. You can not let him feel guilty for his desires and fantasies, which of course he did not choose. The Ultimate Control The ultimate control over a man is not hypnosis, blackmail, tying him up, or any of the male submissive fantasies. The ultimate control is love. You do not autmatically have this control, you have to establish it. We have tried to give you the tools you need. You have to be dominant, but you have to be a caring dominant. When you gain this control, make sure he knows it. When he knows it, he will probably realize that the kinks are pale imitations of this form of control. Again, the kinks might not completely disappear, but they won't be so important. Humiliation For most submissives, humiliation is erotic. Humiliation weakens him, and when he is weaker, he has less willpower and is easier to control. But it isn't good for him to be weaker, and you don't want him to be weaker. So the issue for caring domination is satisfying a submission without humiliating him or making him weaker.. Punishment can also be erotic but weakening, perhaps when it points out his flaws or when he fears it. Do not punish him for his errors or faults, punish him for something obviously silly. If possible, choose a punishment that benefits him. What about doing something embarrassing? The test is how he will feel about it in the future. If it is just a game, or something that actually makes him stronger, he will not feel bad or guilty about it. If in the future he feels humiliated, embarrassed, or guilty, it wasn't a good idea. It's just a few things that might be useful for her to know and useful for him not to know. Exploring and enjoying will take you where you want to go. The most important part of these webpages was a loving, caring approach to domination and submission. But if you would like to read more, the index on your left has more pages for you to read. Being Submissive As far as we know, men are born submissive. The submissive man needs something like control or someone to submit to, at least some of the time. Submissive men rarely act submissive in real life. Without any control, he starts to kink. His kinks are about losing control. The strong dominatrix. Being tied up. He cannot have a fantasy about intercourse with a beautiful woman, because he would do that voluntarily. So he fantasizes about scenes where he is forced to do things he doesn't want to do. These can be ugly. Being degraded is erotic, but that makes him weak and easier to control. He does not choose to be submissive, and he does not choose his kinks. As far as we know, there is nothing he can do to stop them from forming. So he should not be blamed for his submissiveness or his kinks. Does he act out his fantasies? They do not really hurt anyone, and he should try to be happy. Many submissives use all the willpower they have to fight their fantasies. Then when their willpower is gone the fantasies win. So, bottom line, he might feel very guilty but he probably shouldn't. The cleanest form of submission, without any kinks, is service and worship. Imagine, if you had an infant, having a husband who is willing to do whatever you ask of him. Clean submission is an ideal; your husband almost certainly has kinks. Submission is intimately connected with sex. Heterosexual men want to submit to women. And they want to be controlled during sex. Even normally, a story about good sex includes losing control. The romantic crush is the strong feeling at the beginning of a http: Some aspects of the romantic crush are not that different from submission, and submission seems to trigger the exact same crush. The Good and Bad of Submissiveness Submissiveness receives no respect in our society, because it contradicts the image of a strong male. But submissive men are good people. They want to please others, and they submit to a higher moral code. That makes them caring, kind, considerate, polite, reliable, and responsible. Do you want a husband who thinks only of himself, or one that is moral and wants you to be happy? You also want a strong knight who can protect and provide for you and your children. It's in your genes. During courtship your mate had to show he was strong. But it might be nice if he accepted your direction, right? Especially when you know best, and especially to protect and provide for you and your children. Actually living with a submissive is not always this pleasant. If you turn off his submission, that's a disaster, for you and him. You want his love and devotion. See Living with a Submissive. The second problem is submissive kinks. They might offend your desire to see him as strong. But his kinks are not his fault, he did not choose them. And it is likely that they will decrease if you provide some domination and control. See Decreasing Kinks. So you have a problem, but it is not a large problem. Your husband is not an abuser, alcoholic, drug addict, compulsive gambler, philanderer, or criminal. If your husband is a submissive with kinks, you have only a small problem. And we want this to be a positive problem for you. It can lead to the submissive crush, improved communication and caring, and a good relationship. The Submissive Crush The romantic crush is a sudden falling in love. You think about the person you love, you want to be with him, you look eagerly for any clue that he like or does not like you. It feels wonderful and it is full of anguish. You probably fantasize about pleasing him. Males can have fantasies of sacrificing themselves for their loved one. Note how much this is like submissiveness. Anyway, submissiveness somehow triggers this same state. You should watch for this. When it occurs, his submissiveness isn't a game any more, it is for real. He will crave your attention, and he will be sensitive to disapproval. The submissive is looking for the "tie that binds". Sometimes it is literally a rope, sometimes it is some other submissive fantasy. But the ultimate control, and the natural control, is his love for you. Encouraging Clean Submission Encouraging Submission? Perhaps you do not want to encourage your husband to be submissive. But if he needs control and submission, he needs it. This website is about discouraging kinks and weakness; if there is a way to change his need for some control, we do not know it. And think twice before discouraging clean submission. If you make a competent and caring decision, you might want the power to enforce it. His dance of submission turns on your dominance. This webpage is about your dance of dominance turning on his clean submission. Remind Him He promised to be submissive and then when you asked him to do something, he forgot. This is natural. He has not learned to be submissive and you have not turned on his submission. The first thing you can do is simply remind him. Eroticism helps. Tell him he is not being a good slave. Remind him that a good slave is always obedient. He might need to be submissive yet not really know how to do it. Be patient with him and help him to learn submission and even to develop his own style. DO NOT. If he ever directly fights your domination, stop dominating him immediately. In other words, if you tell him to do something, and he says no, you are morally obligated to stop dominating. Give him a hug and pronounce him cured. Or have certain times for domination. This page is about what to do when he still wants to be submissive, he just forgets or loses his self-control but is now apologetic. If you give a command, he should either obey or explain why he thinks he shouldn't obey. Then it is your decision. If he just ignores your command, he is not respecting you. You will not feel dominant, and he will have difficulty feeling submissive. Again, if he is directly disobedient, that is very different and you should stop dominating. Get Real Power Ideally, he will be submissive because he wants to, or because he wants to turn on your dominance. But real power might help trigger his submissiveness. When you tie him up and he cannot escape, you have real power. When you lock him in a chastity device, you have real power. When you control his spending money, you have real power. When he first starts out, he might need some serious domination. You might even have to break him down a little, so that you are in charge and then can build him back up as a knight. We don't know. This is dangerous and hopefully you won't have to do it. If you do, think of it like an initiation. Be Caring and Trustworthy If you had a serious disease, you would want a doctor who was competent and cared for you. Then you could just accept and trust what he told you to do. You can call this trusting in authority, but it is also a light, pleasant style of submission. Everyone's different, but you probably want to teach your husband this style of submission. Your husband has been protecting himself his whole life, but that's not the happiest way for him to relate to you. He can experience this light submission if you are competent and caring. Caring means you care about HIM. Yes, you use him as a resource to care for your home and family. Yes, he should be caring for you. But he needs to be on the list too. You might think he can take care of his own happiness. This might not be true, because you make good judgments and he might appreciate your encouragement. Even if it was true, it http: Getting His Help If you tell him to do something he wants to do but is having a little trouble doing, he will want your domination and might open up that part of his personality. So tell him to enjoy himself. If he works to support you and your family, take responsibility. Encourage him to work, thank him for working, and give him an occasional boon. If he wants to exercise and needs a push, reward him for exercising. He Wants a Scene Doing a scene means acting out a fantasy. He might want you to spank him, tie him up, play the cruel school teacher, or whatever. Except as a boon to him, you almost never do the scene exactly as he describes. First, it is not good style. If you are following his directions, it seems like he is in charge. If that doesn't bother either of you, fine. But many submissives will not like the feeling of being in control. There are two very good reasons to change the scene. One is if it isn't good for him. You are in charge. If you decide the scene isn't good for his self-esteem, change it so that it is. Or don't do the scene. The other reason for changing his scene is so that you can enjoy it too. Take parts of his scene that you like and add ideas that you like. If you can't change it to something you want to do, then don't do it. Most people are turned off by at least one scene. Most women do not like crossdressing or pain. You can also introduce submissive games you might enjoy. He probably will enjoy them too. Tease and denial works well. Tying him up is also an easy game to play. Don't worry about teaching him something new. Our guess is that more fantasies are better than less, and the worst is if only one submissive fantasy is exciting for him. Ask him to describe himself or herself, as if you don't know him. Ask for a fantasy. Find some small area of his life to guide and control. Supppose he hasn't offered to obey you. If he sent you here, he is submissive and wants you to be dominant. Talk with him, or slowly ease your way into your role. For example, you could say something like "Do you want me to control your sex life? That might leave him confused. Elsewhere we describe a game of Double Domination, where you both start dominating each other. The short story has two parts. First, you should never do anything as a dominant that makes you feel guilty. It's your soul. It's the same thing if you are becomining angry with him for what you are doing. Just don't. The exception is when you are just starting. If you are receiving service or pampering, it might not seem fair to him, and that might trigger your guilt. Dominance and submission is strange that way, because he can enjoy giving your service and pampering you. If you are starting, and you feel things are going great, and he is happy, but by your training you also worry that things aren't fair, this is probably something you need to push through. Follow your heart, not your training. The Good Domme But if you need reassurance, or a reminder, here is our Description of the perfect Domme 1. She cares about him. She probably cares about her children, herself, him, family, friends, and the world, in that order. She does not make him smaller. She avoids any humiliation or degradation that might carry over into the real world and decrease his confidence or self-esteem. She tries not to blind-side him with anger. Actually, there is little good reason to be angry with a submissive. But anger and punishment are fair when he is disobedient. That includes careless work and passive agressive compliance. Unexpected anger is unfair. If he tries to obey her commands and please her, and she is still angry with him sometimes, whose fault is that? She uses her power over him to encourage his happiness and growth. So, when he tries to do something right, and she does not like the results, she is not angry or annoyed with him, and she does not punish him with her emotions. She is encouraging and appreciative. If she can be these things, she deserves every bit of his love, worship, and obedience. Your Wife The other side of our website helps fledgling dominants learn to be caring dominants. Our Caring Domination is designed to appeal to her. If you are ever going to approach your mate about her being dominant, the male fantasy will not work. Our four-step program lets you slowly introduce submission and dominance into a relationship. Or you can just explore hidden submissiveness. All we have right now is: You just have to make it clear that he is serving you. International Domme Directory http: You can post your experiences and questions on our Message Board. For comments about the website, email the webmanager at webmanager cair4. Around Her Finger How can you hurt someone you love? Post a new message: Store my name and email Notify me when I get a reply to my message: No Subject: She believes that a dominant woman can have a good, normal relationship, and she seems to be exploring caring domination. See also her contribution to our message board. There's no whips or chains, or humiliation, just a dominant woman. Akasha has excellent advice for starting domination and enjoying it, and developing your own style, not the male fantasy. A guide Amity Talks to Women is excellent tutorial for a learning how to be dominant and enjoy it, again building something that you enjoy, the not male fantasy. Being a Dominant This is an excellent article by Midori on being a dominant. Cosmopolitan tells how to incorporate light domination and submission into your sexual play. How to Worship Your Wife A serious reference for cross dressing is tri-ess. The website Amore Migliori "Better Love" , by Cynthia Hayes, will appeal to your selfishness and in passing mentions submissive activities not "encouraged" on this website. However, the real-life examples of orgasm denial all take place within loving relationships, and Ms. Hayes excellently describes the power of orgasm denial in creating a better relationship for both you and your man. A website with a selfish attitude towards domination but some good games is Real Women Don't Do Housework There was someone named Dark Whisper writing very good http: The link was Darkwhisper. But that link seems to be down. A reference for some of Dark Whisper's writing on humiliation is Darkwhisper. Dark Whisper thinks humiliation can be safely done in a scene play, but it is very important for the sub to know his dominant is not really serious with her comments and criticisms. TJ's story, part 4 IP: TJs story, part 4. It has been over six weeks since I last posted an installment to my story. For that, I suppose I owe an apology to any who may have cared to read all of this. So, forgive me, if Ive left anyone hanging. So much has happened itll be impossible to tell in the same kind of detail as I put into parts , so let me be more thematic in my approach. That was the beginning of a real turn-around in our sex life. More like an explosion. Before, we had been having sex maybe times a month. Weve had sex five out of the last six days. We are not getting nearly as much reading done as we used to, but neither of us is missing our books. Since Ive given up masturbation at least to the point of orgasm, though I still cant keep my hands off myself completely Ive asked a couple of times if she would mind jerking me off, since I do miss the feel of a hand-job. She didnt hesitate to jerk me off. She later said that tying me down didnt do anything for her, but since I seemed to like it, she did it. She has taken to the title of goddess, quite on her own, I might add. I had said once or twice that if she kept going the way she was, she was going to graduate from Lady to Queen to Goddess. Maybe she thinks she has. I dont know. She has no problem whatsoever with my idolatry. The best instance of goddess worship that weve engaged in came about this way. One night she was complaining about some sorry lotion shed bought that wasnt doing a thing for her skin. The first thing she asked for was a whole body massage with the new lotion. Ive rarely spent a better twenty minutes. A very worshipful experience for both of us. I think we can both get into this. By the way, what the scent of Dream Angels does to me now How this website has fit into the scheme of things. A lot of the things I have been telling my wife Ive lifted directly from this website. That meant, of course, she would have to explore domination. Admittedly, what she read was what I had been telling her, so there wasnt too much in it that was new. I dont know if anything else Ive ever read has come closer to saying what she needed to hear. Also, the part about the Submissive Crush is absolutely on the money. I dont know how many times Ive said to my wife, I am so whipped The only other material that Ive given her to read has been two pieces from Akashas website: Enjoying Female Dominance: I chose them because, while Lady Misatos site does have some very appealing stuff in it, it is as Miss Cynthia says elsewhere on this website a bit selfish in outlook. My wife would not buy the whole female supremacy attitude at all. My wife has made comments that lead me to believe shell consider femdom so long as she doesnt have to do it all the time; Akashas approach is scene-based, so this seems to be a fit. That is to say, no pouting, whining or hinting about it. This makes for good, clean submission. Ive tried to do that, but my wife has been putting very little effort into it. This has been very frustrating: Sure, I can get up at 5: Still, we both agree that it makes for really good sex. The times shes been thoughtful enough to say things like, you belong to me, your cock is mine, or Im going to use you to pleasure myself, Ive shuddered with an involuntary moan: Still, I sometimes prompt her to get her to say the things I want to hear, like are you using me? Obviously, Im topping from the bottom, but shes very good at taking a hint. I guess part of the urgency on my part is because Ive said the words so many times: I want to know that this hasnt been just a bunch of words. Religious accommodation on both sides of the pond: Different paths to a common norm? Front-end planning of capital projects: Available editions United Kingdom. The cliche tells us that women go for men who are tall, dark and handsome. Beatrice Alba , La Trobe University. Fortunately, we can change our culture. Wikimedia commons , CC BY Sexual dimorphism — where one sex is substantially larger or otherwise different in appearance to the other — is common among animals. The male gorilla is on the right. Western Australia man Peter Miles allegedly murdered his wife, daughter and four grandchildren. A physically dominant man can fight off threats - but does he also present a direct threat to women? To achieve gender equality, we must first tackle our unconscious biases And culture is not fixed — as shown by the progress that society has already made towards gender equality. Found this article useful? Make a donation. You might also like. Post-Castro Cuba and the cult of personality — Egham, Surrey Religious accommodation on both sides of the pond: Expert Database Find experts with knowledge in: So the second step in becoming a dominant is to find out what rights he wants to give up. Do not argue for more. That is inappropriate. Do not argue for less — always accept whatever power he grants you. You do not have to use the power he is giving you, but you never turn it down. You need to enforce the contract. If he breaks the contract, he one way or another needs to be punished. There is no problem with changing the contract. But that requires discussion and agreement — he cannot simply abandon the contract because he wants to or does not have self-control or does not respect you. From Caring Domination a collection of short articles to help women get their mind around female dominance. Meet a Mistress. But in an FLR if it is about her terms are totally important..

So he goes elsewhere. Maybe to a professional dominatrix. The professional dominatrix probably will humiliate him. That makes him weaker. But he Caring female domination to be weaker, because that makes it easier for him to submit to a bad Mistress.

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Remember, he doesn't have any good Mistresses to submit to. And he kinks, because of his strong desire to lose control and submit. The kinks make him feel guilty, because of that high moral code. And the guilt weakens him. And so this is what I see. Well-meaning women, appropriately trying to use family resources to care for themselves, home, and family.

That means controlling their their mate. Caring female domination they are Caring female domination, and they turn off their mate's submission. Then, they aren't happy, they don't get good help, the mate is unhappy, and kinking occurs.

Caring Domination Now let's talk about caring domination. Your mate is programmed to Caring female domination a good Mistress. All you have to do is tap into that program. He will be happy. He will want to please you, Caring female domination he will want to do a good job and you can effectively direct family resources.

Will you be happy? With a man who worships and loves you?

Orion sexlegetoj Watch Video Sisterxxx Kitchen. Meet a Mistress. But in an FLR if it is about her terms are totally important. It is why the fantasy can be so damaging to reality. It all depends. Some males are so submissive, you can see it in their eyes, begging to be dominated. Get them drunk, then they can pretend the alcohol made them do it. This type can pretend to be drunk on half a beer. Or consenual blackmail. Pretend you put a drug in his drink, a rape drug, and see how he reacts Tell him its ok to submit, because you know the drug has made it impossible for him to resist. Try some versions of this. My Mistress and I are about to embark on our life journey of a female led marriage.. As I explore I come to realize how truly loving and nurturing this is going to be. When you do that, you will deserve to be called a caring Goddess. You can do it, and you can enjoy it. This website is about our vision of domination, which we call Caring Domination. It is designed to work for you and work for him. Becoming a Dominant Your husband wants you to dominate him. What will be different? Probably sex. Some submissive men are interested only in sexual scenes and have no interest in submissiveness outside the bedroom. That's fine, but not what this website preaches, so if your husband sent you to this website, he probably wants to be dominated outside the bedroom too. But sex is still very important to him. And now you are in charge. The boss. The queen. But probably you were already in charge of home, children, or social relations. Now he is a part of your dominion. But you probably already tried to control him. Maybe he was a resource to care for home and family. He might have already followed your directions for social relationships. So this could be a big change in power, but it probably isn't. The change is this. There is a primitive part of his personality that wants to be dominated. You are going to plug into that primitive part of his personality. You are going to dance the ancient dance of domination. You are going to be the goddess he is looking for. You are going to use his sexual desire to have control over him. When you tap into that primitive part of his personality, serving you is going to become erotic to him. He will be enslaved by his love for you, and that too will be erotic for him. You already care for your husband, or you wouldn't be here. But you might think he can manage his own happiness by himself, without your attention. It will probably help your dominion if you sometimes exert your dominance to help care for him. That's part of being dominant. You can still ask him what he wants. You can still accept wise counsel. You can still grant him boons. That's part of being competent and caring. But you are the queen amd you make the final decision. So you are starting a process of slow growth. He is too. You and he are going to change how you relate, and you are going to change for the better. You are going to hit bumps in the road. You will have to communicate. It will not be easy. But it should be fun. If you are going to control him, you need to understand him. Their is no replacement for communication. But some of our webpages explain about submissiveness. Why is he submissive? What can you change and what can't you change? You are need to be dominant, caring, and competent. There is no replacement for exploring and seeing what you like and what works for you. But our webpages will explain how to be dominant and caring.. It also helps to know where you are going. We describe how to build a strong knight, clean submission, and a trusting submission. Most submissives sooner or later find the knight image appealing. But psychological destruction is very erotic. A major tension of caring domination is being erotic and yet trying to avoid things that make him smaller. Goals of Caring Domination You should now know this is a good opportunity for you. Hopefully you have the spirit of love and caring, but this should also improve your relationship. You have three goals in dominating. You want to be happy, and you want him to be happy. You have some real power. Encourage him to be a knight. To start, he might be more interested in being a slave, because he is starving for control. But sooner or later he will warm to the knight role. Be in charge. You cannot just do what he says. Sooner or later he will notice that he is in charge, and that won't fulfill his needs. Also, he might not have very good judgment about what he needs. Yes, find out what he wants, but be in charge. A Trusting Submission Your husband probably has never been dominated. He has only fantasized about it and read about it. The male fantasy, and the male literature, is mostly about the cruel dominatrix. Your husband has no experience with caring domination. It's not in the typical male fantasy about the cruel dominatrix, but one of the good possibilities in caring domination is trusting submission. Suppose you had a serious disease. Would you want a doctor you could trust? You would want to know that your doctor was competent and cared for you. Then you could just accept and trust what your doctor advised. In essence, that's the trusting submission you might want to elicit in your husband. The idea is this. He doesn't trust you because you are always right. No one is always right. He doesn't trust you because your decisions are always better than his. They can't always be better. He trusts you because you care about him and you work hard to make good decisions. And because he wants to feel. He will probably enjoy trusting submission, if he can find it. He spends his life protecting himself from people who don't care and aren't competent. This will be a treat for him. This is the relationship he wants with you. No protecting himself and being suspicious. Just trust and acceptance. For him to experience this light submission, you must be competent and caring. Caring means you care about him, as any good ruler would care about her subjects. Decreasing Kinks His kinks probably are not going to disappear. As his queen, you presumably want him to be happy, and that means dealing with his existing kinks. Also, as any ruler would appreciate, his kinks are keys to dominating him. So you need to decide, which kinks work for you? How can you change the fantasy so that others work for you? Which kinks can you accommodate and which ones will you ignore? Your husband needs to be dominated somehow, but he probably don't need all of his kinks. And the kinks are a product of his imagination; he doesn't really know what will make him happy. Email the webmanager at webmanager cair4. However, you can reduce his kinks. Strengthen Him One of the basic principles of caring domination is making him stronger. You are the lady, and he is the obedient knight. But he can be a strong, clever, obedient knight. In other words, you expect and demand strength from him as part of his service to you. Submissives apparently do not need to be weak, they just need to submit. You can also remind him of his strengths and that he is a good person. This also increases his positive feelings for you. Don't Weaken Him Some fantasies, like being tied up, allow him to be controlled even though he is not weak. Those are "good" fantasies. Other fantasies allow him to be controlled because he is being weakened. Those are "bad" fantasies. The most common is humiliation. Humiliation weakens a man and makes him easier to control. So humiliation is erotic to most submissives. You should avoid humiliation, if you can. If you http: See Avoiding Humiliation. Guilt Guilt is also weakening. Try to avoid erotic games involving guilt. Most submissives feel more guilt than they should -- their desires are not socially acceptable. You can not let him feel guilty for his desires and fantasies, which of course he did not choose. The Ultimate Control The ultimate control over a man is not hypnosis, blackmail, tying him up, or any of the male submissive fantasies. The ultimate control is love. You do not autmatically have this control, you have to establish it. We have tried to give you the tools you need. You have to be dominant, but you have to be a caring dominant. When you gain this control, make sure he knows it. When he knows it, he will probably realize that the kinks are pale imitations of this form of control. Again, the kinks might not completely disappear, but they won't be so important. Humiliation For most submissives, humiliation is erotic. Humiliation weakens him, and when he is weaker, he has less willpower and is easier to control. But it isn't good for him to be weaker, and you don't want him to be weaker. So the issue for caring domination is satisfying a submission without humiliating him or making him weaker.. Punishment can also be erotic but weakening, perhaps when it points out his flaws or when he fears it. Do not punish him for his errors or faults, punish him for something obviously silly. If possible, choose a punishment that benefits him. What about doing something embarrassing? The test is how he will feel about it in the future. If it is just a game, or something that actually makes him stronger, he will not feel bad or guilty about it. If in the future he feels humiliated, embarrassed, or guilty, it wasn't a good idea. It's just a few things that might be useful for her to know and useful for him not to know. Exploring and enjoying will take you where you want to go. The most important part of these webpages was a loving, caring approach to domination and submission. But if you would like to read more, the index on your left has more pages for you to read. Being Submissive As far as we know, men are born submissive. The submissive man needs something like control or someone to submit to, at least some of the time. Submissive men rarely act submissive in real life. Without any control, he starts to kink. His kinks are about losing control. The strong dominatrix. Being tied up. He cannot have a fantasy about intercourse with a beautiful woman, because he would do that voluntarily. So he fantasizes about scenes where he is forced to do things he doesn't want to do. These can be ugly. Being degraded is erotic, but that makes him weak and easier to control. He does not choose to be submissive, and he does not choose his kinks. As far as we know, there is nothing he can do to stop them from forming. So he should not be blamed for his submissiveness or his kinks. Does he act out his fantasies? They do not really hurt anyone, and he should try to be happy. Many submissives use all the willpower they have to fight their fantasies. Then when their willpower is gone the fantasies win. So, bottom line, he might feel very guilty but he probably shouldn't. The cleanest form of submission, without any kinks, is service and worship. Imagine, if you had an infant, having a husband who is willing to do whatever you ask of him. Clean submission is an ideal; your husband almost certainly has kinks. Submission is intimately connected with sex. Heterosexual men want to submit to women. And they want to be controlled during sex. Even normally, a story about good sex includes losing control. The romantic crush is the strong feeling at the beginning of a http: Some aspects of the romantic crush are not that different from submission, and submission seems to trigger the exact same crush. The Good and Bad of Submissiveness Submissiveness receives no respect in our society, because it contradicts the image of a strong male. But submissive men are good people. They want to please others, and they submit to a higher moral code. That makes them caring, kind, considerate, polite, reliable, and responsible. Do you want a husband who thinks only of himself, or one that is moral and wants you to be happy? You also want a strong knight who can protect and provide for you and your children. It's in your genes. During courtship your mate had to show he was strong. But it might be nice if he accepted your direction, right? Especially when you know best, and especially to protect and provide for you and your children. Actually living with a submissive is not always this pleasant. If you turn off his submission, that's a disaster, for you and him. You want his love and devotion. See Living with a Submissive. The second problem is submissive kinks. They might offend your desire to see him as strong. But his kinks are not his fault, he did not choose them. And it is likely that they will decrease if you provide some domination and control. See Decreasing Kinks. So you have a problem, but it is not a large problem. Your husband is not an abuser, alcoholic, drug addict, compulsive gambler, philanderer, or criminal. If your husband is a submissive with kinks, you have only a small problem. And we want this to be a positive problem for you. It can lead to the submissive crush, improved communication and caring, and a good relationship. The Submissive Crush The romantic crush is a sudden falling in love. You think about the person you love, you want to be with him, you look eagerly for any clue that he like or does not like you. It feels wonderful and it is full of anguish. You probably fantasize about pleasing him. Males can have fantasies of sacrificing themselves for their loved one. Note how much this is like submissiveness. Anyway, submissiveness somehow triggers this same state. You should watch for this. When it occurs, his submissiveness isn't a game any more, it is for real. He will crave your attention, and he will be sensitive to disapproval. The submissive is looking for the "tie that binds". Sometimes it is literally a rope, sometimes it is some other submissive fantasy. But the ultimate control, and the natural control, is his love for you. Encouraging Clean Submission Encouraging Submission? Perhaps you do not want to encourage your husband to be submissive. But if he needs control and submission, he needs it. This website is about discouraging kinks and weakness; if there is a way to change his need for some control, we do not know it. And think twice before discouraging clean submission. If you make a competent and caring decision, you might want the power to enforce it. His dance of submission turns on your dominance. This webpage is about your dance of dominance turning on his clean submission. Remind Him He promised to be submissive and then when you asked him to do something, he forgot. This is natural. He has not learned to be submissive and you have not turned on his submission. The first thing you can do is simply remind him. Eroticism helps. Tell him he is not being a good slave. Remind him that a good slave is always obedient. He might need to be submissive yet not really know how to do it. Be patient with him and help him to learn submission and even to develop his own style. DO NOT. If he ever directly fights your domination, stop dominating him immediately. In other words, if you tell him to do something, and he says no, you are morally obligated to stop dominating. Give him a hug and pronounce him cured. Or have certain times for domination. This page is about what to do when he still wants to be submissive, he just forgets or loses his self-control but is now apologetic. If you give a command, he should either obey or explain why he thinks he shouldn't obey. Then it is your decision. If he just ignores your command, he is not respecting you. You will not feel dominant, and he will have difficulty feeling submissive. Again, if he is directly disobedient, that is very different and you should stop dominating. Get Real Power Ideally, he will be submissive because he wants to, or because he wants to turn on your dominance. But real power might help trigger his submissiveness. When you tie him up and he cannot escape, you have real power. When you lock him in a chastity device, you have real power. When you control his spending money, you have real power. When he first starts out, he might need some serious domination. You might even have to break him down a little, so that you are in charge and then can build him back up as a knight. We don't know. This is dangerous and hopefully you won't have to do it. If you do, think of it like an initiation. Be Caring and Trustworthy If you had a serious disease, you would want a doctor who was competent and cared for you. Then you could just accept and trust what he told you to do. You can call this trusting in authority, but it is also a light, pleasant style of submission. Everyone's different, but you probably want to teach your husband this style of submission. Your husband has been protecting himself his whole life, but that's not the happiest way for him to relate to you. He can experience this light submission if you are competent and caring. Caring means you care about HIM. Yes, you use him as a resource to care for your home and family. Yes, he should be caring for you. But he needs to be on the list too. You might think he can take care of his own happiness. This might not be true, because you make good judgments and he might appreciate your encouragement. Even if it was true, it http: Getting His Help If you tell him to do something he wants to do but is having a little trouble doing, he will want your domination and might open up that part of his personality. So tell him to enjoy himself. If he works to support you and your family, take responsibility. Encourage him to work, thank him for working, and give him an occasional boon. If he wants to exercise and needs a push, reward him for exercising. He Wants a Scene Doing a scene means acting out a fantasy. He might want you to spank him, tie him up, play the cruel school teacher, or whatever. Except as a boon to him, you almost never do the scene exactly as he describes. First, it is not good style. If you are following his directions, it seems like he is in charge. If that doesn't bother either of you, fine. But many submissives will not like the feeling of being in control. There are two very good reasons to change the scene. One is if it isn't good for him. You are in charge. If you decide the scene isn't good for his self-esteem, change it so that it is. Or don't do the scene. The other reason for changing his scene is so that you can enjoy it too. Take parts of his scene that you like and add ideas that you like. If you can't change it to something you want to do, then don't do it. Most people are turned off by at least one scene. Most women do not like crossdressing or pain. You can also introduce submissive games you might enjoy. He probably will enjoy them too. Tease and denial works well. Tying him up is also an easy game to play. Don't worry about teaching him something new. Our guess is that more fantasies are better than less, and the worst is if only one submissive fantasy is exciting for him. Ask him to describe himself or herself, as if you don't know him. Ask for a fantasy. Find some small area of his life to guide and control. Supppose he hasn't offered to obey you. If he sent you here, he is submissive and wants you to be dominant. Talk with him, or slowly ease your way into your role. For example, you could say something like "Do you want me to control your sex life? That might leave him confused. Elsewhere we describe a game of Double Domination, where you both start dominating each other. The short story has two parts. First, you should never do anything as a dominant that makes you feel guilty. It's your soul. It's the same thing if you are becomining angry with him for what you are doing. Just don't. The exception is when you are just starting. If you are receiving service or pampering, it might not seem fair to him, and that might trigger your guilt. Dominance and submission is strange that way, because he can enjoy giving your service and pampering you. If you are starting, and you feel things are going great, and he is happy, but by your training you also worry that things aren't fair, this is probably something you need to push through. Follow your heart, not your training. The Good Domme But if you need reassurance, or a reminder, here is our Description of the perfect Domme 1. She cares about him. She probably cares about her children, herself, him, family, friends, and the world, in that order. She does not make him smaller. She avoids any humiliation or degradation that might carry over into the real world and decrease his confidence or self-esteem. She tries not to blind-side him with anger. Actually, there is little good reason to be angry with a submissive. But anger and punishment are fair when he is disobedient. That includes careless work and passive agressive compliance. Unexpected anger is unfair. If he tries to obey her commands and please her, and she is still angry with him sometimes, whose fault is that? She uses her power over him to encourage his happiness and growth. So, when he tries to do something right, and she does not like the results, she is not angry or annoyed with him, and she does not punish him with her emotions. She is encouraging and appreciative. If she can be these things, she deserves every bit of his love, worship, and obedience. Your Wife The other side of our website helps fledgling dominants learn to be caring dominants. Our Caring Domination is designed to appeal to her. If you are ever going to approach your mate about her being dominant, the male fantasy will not work. Our four-step program lets you slowly introduce submission and dominance into a relationship. Or you can just explore hidden submissiveness. All we have right now is: You just have to make it clear that he is serving you. Among our closest living relatives — the chimpanzee, gorilla and orangutan — males are bigger than females. They are physically stronger, and have larger, sharper canine teeth. While such characteristics benefit males in competition with one another, they also enable them to physically and sexually dominate females. Besides the preference for height, women also tend to show a preference for indicators of dominance in men, such as physical strength and masculine facial features. The controversial psychologist Jordan Peterson goes as far as claiming that women hate harmless men. Large, dominant men can offer greater protection to their partners and children from other men, and were likely to have been better providers of food and other resources throughout our evolutionary history. This suggests that it is adaptive, in evolutionary terms, for women to be attracted to such men and to choose them as partners. Do women take their husband's surname after marriage because of biology? Research supporting this argument has found that women with a higher fear of crime are more likely to prefer physically formidable and dominant males. In addition, women who score lower on dominance show a stronger preference for taller men. Unfortunately, the preference for larger and more dominant men comes with a cost. Such men, while they might protect their partners from other men, also present the risk of turning their aggression onto their partners. By choosing larger and more dominant men, women potentially become more vulnerable to physical and sexual domination by their partner. Crime statistics show that the majority of intimate partner murder victims are female. It simply describes how physical and psychological characteristics become more common if they help an organism pass on its genes. The desire in females for tall, dominant males is just likely to have been a successful way of propagating genes, even before Homo sapiens evolved. Although we are not blind to the benefits of size, these sexual and romantic preferences are not determined by conscious choice, nor are they always rational or desirable..

You decide. So caring domination is effective domination. It is being a good wife, and a good partner. There are four things you have to do to be an effective, caring Mistress. You really have to care for him. That means liking him for who he is, not something you Caring female domination him to be. If he wants to change, that's his decision. Help him Caring female domination happy. You have to use your control Caring female domination help him be happy. Or if he is already good at being happy, you have to support him.

You don't have to tell him which channel to watch, but if you know he wants to watch TV and needs encouragement, encourage him to watch TV. Louts don't need encouragement to do what they want; submissives do. Does that mean your control revolves around making him happy? Absolutely not. You are charged with marshalling the family resources to provide for yourself, home, and family. That doesn't change. Think queen bee. This is why he was programmed to submit. Caring female domination also have every right to care for yourself.

Just don't make the mistake of thinking that he will enjoy himself without your control. Make sure he is happy, and use your control to help him if he is not. And when your knight is in your thrall, he will be happy to help you. Until he is in your thrall, helping http: It puts him in your thrall and keeps him in your thrall. Show him your pleasure. The stereotype of a dominating Mistress is giving orders that are obeyed.

When men come to me in foaming submission, they want commands. And commands can be fun in games or scenes. But in real life caring domination, orders are usually not an effective method of control.

Instead, you use your devotee's desire to please. You tell him what would please you, This web page he does the rest. Men come to my site and offer Caring female domination obey me. It Caring female domination a game.

Naked sed Watch Video French Pornstsrs. Do not argue for less — always accept whatever power he grants you. You do not have to use the power he is giving you, but you never turn it down. You need to enforce the contract. If he breaks the contract, he one way or another needs to be punished. There is no problem with changing the contract. But that requires discussion and agreement — he cannot simply abandon the contract because he wants to or does not have self-control or does not respect you. From Caring Domination a collection of short articles to help women get their mind around female dominance. Meet a Mistress. But in an FLR if it is about her terms are totally important. It is why the fantasy can be so damaging to reality. It all depends. Some males are so submissive, you can see it in their eyes, begging to be dominated. He can defend himself against these people, but probably not perfectly, and not without suffering. Because of his high moral code, he should have a job that helps people, or second choice at least a job that does not hurt or take advantage of people. Eroticism The second type of submission is erotic submission, and it is very important to men. Kinks and fetishes. The loss of control is erotic. The kinks and fetishes of submission are everything the submissives have found that causes loss of control. Bondage is an obvious loss of control. And submission is the loss of control. The offer to submit is an offer to give up control, the desire to submit is a desire for no control, and complete submission is a complete loss of control. Perhaps the most common kink in submission is the desire to be humiliated. The School of Caring Domination believes that humiliating a man lowers his self-esteem and feelings of worth. With less selfesteem and worth, his willpower is decreased. This is exactly what the submissive wants, because less willpower means less self control and less ability to resist domination. In short, it can be erotic to the submissive. But the loss of self-esteem and worth is bad, so much of caring domination revolves around avoiding humiliation. There will be an entire lesson on this. Rejection and criticism also can be erotic, and again they lower the man's power. Why is a loss of control erotic? Lets start with erotic. Duh, something is erotic because it increases desire. But desire is a loss of self control. If you desire sex, you are losing your self control to work or avoid sex. You might not notice your loss of self-control, because you just want sex, but it's gone. So, in a funny way, being erotic means loss of control. Being taken over by the desire for sex, is http: The ultimate in arousal is complete desire for sex. And it is impossible to tell a story about a good orgasm where the person does not lose control. The male is programmed to find the female body erotic, and he is programmed to be aroused by physical sensations. The male might be programmed to find the loss of control erotic, but this is probably learned, by association and conditioning. Like how smiling helps make you happy, the loss of control is erotic to the submissive. More kinks. Teasing is also erotic to the submissive. Teasing is the suggestion of sexual delights followed by their withdrawal. Teasing leaves the man in a state of frustrated arousal, which might sound unpleasant and is, but it is also a state of strong desire. Another submissive fetish, believe it or not, is enforced chastity. Everything can have different meanings, and chasity can be humiliating and signal submission and a loss of power. But it also increases desire. The stereotyped dominatrix wears provocative clothing, which of course increases desire. The stereotype is that the submissive feels guilty, so he wants to be punished. By pain, humiliation, spanking, whatever. In my experience, this is not true. The submissive is after submission and sex, not punishment. Anyway, if someone wanted to be punished, what does that have to do with sex? Of course, the submissive does feel guilty. The submissive has a high moral code and is sensitive to others, so he always feels guiltier than he should. His kinks and fetishes just add to this guilt. Meanwhile, guilt is probably one more way of making a person weaker. The cruel dominatrix. The submissive wants to submit, he wants arousal, he wants sex. He is supposed to submit to the caring woman. He knows that. But he doesn't have a caring Mistress, and he really wants the sex. So the cruel dominatrix will do just fine. His high moral code and his willpower stop him from obeying the cruel dominatrix. Some men want erotic submission and have no interest in lifestyle submission. In my experience, they like to be the one who is really in control. This is called topping from the bottom, which means controlling the situation even though pretending to be the sub. So you have to watch for this, at least if it is not enjoyable for you. Just to guess, you might really be able to do noncaring things to these men, since they are not really submitting. But most submissives want both, which is probably fair. The knight is supposed to submit to his Mistress, and in return he has the pleasure of seeing her happy and approving of him, but he probably deserves good sex too. Most of the time, the man's immediate reason for seeking domination is that he wants erotic domination. You are probably more interested in lifestyle domination. Erotic domination is measured by how excited the man is to obey and be controlled. Lifestyle domination is measured by how much he wants to please his Mistress and make her happy. Those are two different things. But if your knight is submissive, and if you can erotically dominate him while being caring, the lifestyle domination will follow. Unfortunately, many of the tricks for erotic domination work against the lifestyle domination. A recurring issue is how to erotically dominate your knight without undermining your lifestyle domination. Caring Domination When a man offers to obey me, I order him to submit to all good Mistresses, but not to bad Mistresses. Are you one of the good Mistresses he is told to obey? Or one of the bad mistresses he shouldn't submit to? This is an old web page that looks like a textbook. Click here for our website on caring domination. Click here for our entry page for men, which includes our plan for helping your wife become a dominatrix. The Bad Dominatrix Ruling by destruction. If your sub is weak, and if you act strong, he will obey your commands. This is ruling by power. How do you make a man weak? That's easy. Humiliate him. Criticize him. Do not compliment him or tell him anything good. Make him feel guilty. Destroy him. This is evil domination. When you are done, you will not respect or enjoy what was left of your man. He will need you more; you will want him less. This is not caring domination. And, the weaker a man is, the more he kinks. Any destruction of a man is evil. You would never do this. There are professional dommes that will though, and your mate might seek them out. You want a man that is strong, a man that you can respect. Why not make your man as strong as you can? You can be the opposite of the evil dominatrix, by complimenting him, supporting him, trying not to criticize him or make him feel guilty. Ruling by fear. Some women rule by fear. A man will obey you, or try to please you, because he fears the consequences. But his natural lifestyle submission turns off. The knight knows that his mistress is supposed to care about him. If you are not a caring mistress, you will turn off your knight's natural submission. If you rule by fear, you have a slave, not a devoted servant. He will slack off, make excuses, be the normal bad employee. And where's your fun? You want a man who wants to please you. Ruling incompetently. Not let me talk about you. You are concerned about your mate. But you are more concerned with marshalling the family resources to provide for home and children. You deserve and need his help. That's fair, that's right, that's your genetic programming. So you try to control your knight, any way you can. And you think that's fair, because he should do his share of the work. That would be a happy story if you were a competent domme. But you are not, because no one taught you. And you make one more mistake. You assume he can take of his own needs. So all of your control http: That is a fatal mistake. From his perspective, you are an uncaring dominatrix. That turns off his natural submission. And then everything unravels. He doesn't want to contribute, so you have to push him more. He doesn't want to please you, so you have to rule by fear and nagging. And what happens when you turn off your man's submission? He still needs to submit. He once submitted to you, but you turned that off. So he goes elsewhere. Maybe to a professional dominatrix. The professional dominatrix probably will humiliate him. That makes him weaker. But he wants to be weaker, because that makes it easier for him to submit to a bad Mistress. Remember, he doesn't have any good Mistresses to submit to. And he kinks, because of his strong desire to lose control and submit. The kinks make him feel guilty, because of that high moral code. And the guilt weakens him. And so this is what I see. Well-meaning women, appropriately trying to use family resources to care for themselves, home, and family. That means controlling their their mate. But they are incompetent, and they turn off their mate's submission. Then, they aren't happy, they don't get good help, the mate is unhappy, and kinking occurs. Caring Domination Now let's talk about caring domination. Your mate is programmed to obey a good Mistress. All you have to do is tap into that program. He will be happy. He will want to please you, so he will want to do a good job and you can effectively direct family resources. Will you be happy? With a man who worships and loves you? You decide. So caring domination is effective domination. It is being a good wife, and a good partner. There are four things you have to do to be an effective, caring Mistress. You really have to care for him. That means liking him for who he is, not something you want him to be. If he wants to change, that's his decision. Help him be happy. You have to use your control to help him be happy. Or if he is already good at being happy, you have to support him. You don't have to tell him which channel to watch, but if you know he wants to watch TV and needs encouragement, encourage him to watch TV. Louts don't need encouragement to do what they want; submissives do. Does that mean your control revolves around making him happy? Absolutely not. You are charged with marshalling the family resources to provide for yourself, home, and family. That doesn't change. Think queen bee. This is why he was programmed to submit. You also have every right to care for yourself. Just don't make the mistake of thinking that he will enjoy himself without your control. Make sure he is happy, and use your control to help him if he is not. And when your knight is in your thrall, he will be happy to help you. Until he is in your thrall, helping http: It puts him in your thrall and keeps him in your thrall. Show him your pleasure. The stereotype of a dominating Mistress is giving orders that are obeyed. When men come to me in foaming submission, they want commands. And commands can be fun in games or scenes. But in real life caring domination, orders are usually not an effective method of control. Instead, you use your devotee's desire to please. You tell him what would please you, and he does the rest. Men come to my site and offer to obey me. It is a game. I give them orders and they follow them. They are excited, but it is a game. But if they stay long enough, and I treat them nicely and care about them, they come to want to please me. That is true submission. Commands are in your arsenal, and can be useful for very important issues that are for his own good. And as a game. His reward is seeing your happiness and having your approval. This is what he lives for, this is what he works for, and you should be pleased whenever he tries to please you. Now, show it. Yes, tell him, but give his emotional brain the same message. Smile, look happy, sound happy. A touch or kiss if appropriate. Don't fake it, just remember to show it. No, he won't assume you are happy. Make him strong. Again, you want a strong mate. You want him to slay dragons, rule kingdoms. You do not want him submitting to bad mistresses. And your programming is being excited by a strong mate. So you need to support support support him. Compliments, praise. Overlooking errors and mistakes. Do not rule by guilt. I'm not saying to fake it, though a little exaggeration is always appreciated. But I don't think you need to fake it. Your mate probably is a good, caring, responsible man. And this too is a hook. If you are a support to his self-esteem, he needs you. Good sex. You were promised four things and this is 5. But it is part of the others. Accept him for who he is. Don't make him feel guilty for his kinks. It's part of your contract and a very good hook for enslaving him. Kinks Now let's talk dirty. Your mate probably has kinks. And they probably disgust you. You are programmed to want a strong man, so they turn you off. That's natural. But it means you think your man is disgusting. He will feel disgusting, and he will feel guilty. And that isn't very good for him, is it? So let's think about this. Your mate didn't choose those kinks. No one chooses to have kinks. So he shouldn't feel guilty for having them. It is extraordinarily important that you tell him that. Sincerely, again and again until he believes you. The rule is, he is not responsible for his fantasies, but he is responsible for his behavior. And perhaps your knight has always behaved nobly. But that is a hard horse to stay on, and he might have fallen off. When it doesn't hurt anyone, submissive sometimes do inappropriate things to satisfy their kinks. As one most gallant, kind, and gentle man said, if you want to sniff a woman's shoes, you can't exactly ask her. It's up to you whether you forgive. But really forgiving him will make him stronger, and it will enthrall him. And, given his submissive nature, he has already punished himself with guilt. The lout won't feel guilty, but your submissive knight will. Okay, let's run through this page again. Your mate has kinky desires. He didn't choose them, he wouldn't choose them. You should show absolute unconditional forgiveness and acceptance. Your mate perhaps also has acted out those desires in socially inappropriate ways. It is not easy to act out those desires in socially acceptable ways, except in the privacy of your home, and you weren't there to help. Maybe he should have just ignored those desires, but that's not an easy or happy life. And your socially virtuous sex life was because you didn't have strong kinky desires. And yes, you probably do have more willpower than your mate, but that's in your genes, not something to blame him for. It is very important to approve of who he is, and a little less important to approve of everything he does. So you probably should not approve your mate's indescretions. Just don't be disapproving. State the facts, that he shouldn't be doing it. Since he is not a lout and really has good intentions and is caring, you should forgive him for his past behaviors. And for his future indiscretions. You fight kinky behavior by making him stronger, and giving him outlets and satisfaction in the privacy of your home. Not with disapproval and guilt, which make him weaker and make things worse. Unfortunately, kinks usually make your man look weak. Can you look through them? Kinks signal submission, and submission is good. You can be honored that he wants to submit to you. And if he rules kingdoms, or just brings home the paycheck and helps with home and family, maybe you should realize he is a strong man. If he still has a kink, maybe its time to love him as he is. Humiliation Many submissives find humiliation erotic. Probably, humiliation weakens self-esteem, and this loss of self-esteem leads to less self-control. So it is erotic to the submissive. In addition to straight humiliation, many common submissive fetishes involve humiliation. These include anything disgusting such as golden showers, being an animal such as a dog or pony, foot worship, wearing a diaper and infantilization, and wearing women's clothes. Even loss of control could be considered humiliating. Just being dominated by a woman can be humiliating if the man thinks he, as a man, should be dominating. The problem is, you do not want to weaken your man. Not if you care about him, not if you want a strong man, not if you mind him submitting to other Mistresses instead of standing up to them. And not if you want to experience the joy of a strong, positive, submission. One more problem with humiliation. Submissives somethings snap, which means that they suddenly become angry and maybe even violent. You might think this isn't fair, because he asked to be dominated and humiliated. But, if you don't treat your sub with respect, you have no good reason to complain if he snaps. Men will put up with a lot in a state of foaming submission, but you have to be prepared for when they lose that foaming submission. And that means treating your sub with respect. So, humiliation is not good, and you should never do it, and it has no place in lifestyle domination. Respect your man at all times, if you want him to respect himself. Never ever do anything to weaken the submissive. You want to strengthen him. But the world isn't quite that simple or accommodating. Your sub probably wants erotic domination, and if that includes humiliation, what can you do? There are several tricks for trying to have your cake and eat it too. But all are dangerous. The only safe path is not to offer humiliation, but seem to. These tricks are used only because that you need to make your knight happy and are willing to take the risk. And these just reduce the risk. Not real humiliation. Some things seem humiliating but really aren't, while other things really are humiliating. The test is this. When he later thinks about what he did, will he be humiliated? If he will, http: If he wouldn't, then the humiliation and loss of selfcontrol is probably only temporary. The second trick is just to use other things that produce a loss of self-control, such as teasing, flirting, denial, and direct domination. Your sub probably can't tell the difference. If you are going to do any humiliation at all, it is very important that your sub know that it is for play. You don't really want to humiliate him, he does not really deserve humiliation, and it is not humiliation of the real him. It is just a game. Typically, the sub is assigned a name by his Mistress. Or the sub chooses a name. There is a lot of meaning in names. One is that there can be a real person with a real name and then a pretend name for playing games. Anyway, if you might be humiliating your knight, even a little, you do not want to be calling him by his real name. Calling him his pretend name helps remind him that it is just a game, that you are not really humiliating him. In the Split technique, the man is given two names and treated as if he was two different people. One name is the sub's real first name, only it is not capitalized, to signal that he is still submitting. This first personality still submits, but this name is used for serious conversations and lifestyle domination. This first personality is strengthened, not weakened. He receives compliments, respect, forgiveness, anything that makes him stronger. Imagine that this is the real person. The second personality is the pretend name. It receives erotic domination. If you want to flirt with humiliation, it is done to the second name. Actually, the traditional male names for subs are pretty humiliating. This helps make clear that anything humiliating is a game. Hopefully, the second personality takes the hit of any humiliation. You still want to minimize humiliation, and you want to strengthen this second personality too. You can still forgive the second personality, reassure him that he deserves to be happy, and things like that, and the real person will probably get the message. For example, suppose the second personality writes "I am not worthy of your kindness. Another trick is trying to change the man's fantasy so that hopefully it still appeals to him but does not have as much humiliation. Suppose your knight dreams of letting a cruel dominatrix pee on him. This can have many different meanings, so you might want to learn what it means to him, but it probably involves humiliation. If a man really did let that happen, he would probably feel guilty and humiliated later when he thought about it. You can tell a fantasy about a man who is so enslaved by his Mistress, that he will do anything for her, even let her pee on him if that was what she wanted. The Mistress in this fantasy doesn't really want to pee on him, of course, but she does admire his devotion and worship. Another harmless fantasy is that he is wrestling with a woman and she accidentally pees on him. He then has no reason to be ashamed. Punishment Punishment can also be erotic. In our society, parents punish children, and owners punish dogs, but adults do not punish each other. So punishment signals a difference in power. And for an adult to meekly accept the punishment and even self-enforce it, that shows tremendous submission. Read more: The evolutionary history of men and women should not prevent us from seeking gender equality. Sexual dimorphism — where one sex is substantially larger or otherwise different in appearance to the other — is common among animals. In some species — such as spiders , including the Australian red back — the female is larger than the male. But in mammals, including us humans, it is often the male who is larger. Among our closest living relatives — the chimpanzee, gorilla and orangutan — males are bigger than females. They are physically stronger, and have larger, sharper canine teeth. While such characteristics benefit males in competition with one another, they also enable them to physically and sexually dominate females. Besides the preference for height, women also tend to show a preference for indicators of dominance in men, such as physical strength and masculine facial features. The controversial psychologist Jordan Peterson goes as far as claiming that women hate harmless men. Large, dominant men can offer greater protection to their partners and children from other men, and were likely to have been better providers of food and other resources throughout our evolutionary history. This suggests that it is adaptive, in evolutionary terms, for women to be attracted to such men and to choose them as partners. Do women take their husband's surname after marriage because of biology? Research supporting this argument has found that women with a higher fear of crime are more likely to prefer physically formidable and dominant males. In addition, women who score lower on dominance show a stronger preference for taller men. Unfortunately, the preference for larger and more dominant men comes with a cost. Such men, while they might protect their partners from other men, also present the risk of turning their aggression onto their partners..

We can resist our impulses and urges, and make reasoned choices about how we behave. Even in the modern world we continue to perpetuate cultural norms that place value on greater height and dominance in men, and on slightness and submission in women.

To achieve gender equality, we must Redhead lick tackle our unconscious biases. And culture is not fixed — as shown by the progress that society has already made towards gender equality. We can foster values that Caring female domination compensate for Caring female domination flaws in our nature.

Post-Castro Cuba and the cult of personality — Egham, Surrey. Religious accommodation on both sides of the pond: Different paths to a common norm?

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Front-end planning of capital projects: Available editions United Kingdom. The cliche tells us that women go for men who are Caring female domination, dark and handsome. Beatrice AlbaLa Trobe University. Fortunately, we can change our culture. Caring female domination commonsCC Caring female domination Sexual dimorphism — where one sex is Caring female domination larger or otherwise different in appearance to the other — is common among animals.

The male gorilla is on the right. Western Australia man Peter Miles allegedly murdered his wife, daughter and four grandchildren. A physically dominant man can fight off threats - but does he also present a direct threat to women? Tessa Lane Fuck. Being a Caring Domme: It see more about strong knights with allegiance to a caring Lady. It's about the Nikki hunter femdom free business of understanding and dealing with a submissive man.

Your mate perhaps wants to be enslaved, you want him to be enthralled. Caring female domination a happy ending for both of you. Part 4 of TJ's Story is one man's report after 5 weeks of caring domination. He talks about the new and wonderful sex life he has with his wife, his love for her, his new sense of freedom and wholeness, his joy in life, and more attention to his appearance. Part 3 of his. All you have to do is, with no training or preparation, step into a role our Caring female domination has Caring female domination you is wrong.

You have to deal with his male fantasy. Even though he is the one who wants you to do this, you need Caring female domination lead him to a place neither of your know exists. When you do that, you will deserve to be called a caring Goddess.

You can do it, and you can Caring female domination it. This website is about our vision of domination, which we call Caring Domination. It Caring female domination designed to work for you Caring female domination work for him.

Becoming a Dominant Your husband wants you to dominate him. What will be different? Probably sex. Some submissive men are interested only in sexual scenes and have no interest in submissiveness outside the bedroom.

That's fine, but not what this website preaches, so if your husband sent you to this website, he probably wants to be dominated outside the bedroom too. But sex is still very important to him. And now you are in charge. The boss. The queen. But probably you were already in charge of home, children, or social relations. Now he is a part of your dominion.

But you probably already tried to control him. Maybe he was a resource to care for home and family. He might have already followed your directions for social relationships. So this could Caring female domination a big change in power, but it probably isn't. The change is this. There is a primitive part of his personality that wants to be dominated.

You are going to plug into that primitive part of his personality. You are going to dance the ancient dance of domination. You are going to be the goddess he is looking for. You are going to use his sexual desire to have control over him. When you tap into that primitive part of his personality, serving you is going to become erotic to him. He will be enslaved by his love for you, and that too will be erotic for him. You already care for your husband, or you Caring female domination be here.

But you might think he can manage his own happiness by himself, without your attention. It will probably help your dominion if you sometimes exert your dominance to help care for him. That's part of being dominant. You can still ask him what he wants. You can still accept wise counsel. You can still grant him boons. That's part of being competent and caring. But you are Caring female domination queen amd you make the final decision. So you are starting a process of slow growth.

He is too. You and he are going to change how you relate, and you are going to change for the better. You Caring female domination going to hit bumps in the road. You will have to communicate. It will not be easy. But it should be fun. If you are going to control him, you need to understand him.

Their is no replacement for communication.

Home porno Watch Video Kirsty sex. He trusts you because you care about him and you work hard to make good decisions. And because he wants to feel. He will probably enjoy trusting submission, if he can find it. He spends his life protecting himself from people who don't care and aren't competent. This will be a treat for him. This is the relationship he wants with you. No protecting himself and being suspicious. Just trust and acceptance. For him to experience this light submission, you must be competent and caring. Caring means you care about him, as any good ruler would care about her subjects. Decreasing Kinks His kinks probably are not going to disappear. As his queen, you presumably want him to be happy, and that means dealing with his existing kinks. Also, as any ruler would appreciate, his kinks are keys to dominating him. So you need to decide, which kinks work for you? How can you change the fantasy so that others work for you? Which kinks can you accommodate and which ones will you ignore? Your husband needs to be dominated somehow, but he probably don't need all of his kinks. And the kinks are a product of his imagination; he doesn't really know what will make him happy. Email the webmanager at webmanager cair4. However, you can reduce his kinks. Strengthen Him One of the basic principles of caring domination is making him stronger. You are the lady, and he is the obedient knight. But he can be a strong, clever, obedient knight. In other words, you expect and demand strength from him as part of his service to you. Submissives apparently do not need to be weak, they just need to submit. You can also remind him of his strengths and that he is a good person. This also increases his positive feelings for you. Don't Weaken Him Some fantasies, like being tied up, allow him to be controlled even though he is not weak. Those are "good" fantasies. Other fantasies allow him to be controlled because he is being weakened. Those are "bad" fantasies. The most common is humiliation. Humiliation weakens a man and makes him easier to control. So humiliation is erotic to most submissives. You should avoid humiliation, if you can. If you http: See Avoiding Humiliation. Guilt Guilt is also weakening. Try to avoid erotic games involving guilt. Most submissives feel more guilt than they should -- their desires are not socially acceptable. You can not let him feel guilty for his desires and fantasies, which of course he did not choose. The Ultimate Control The ultimate control over a man is not hypnosis, blackmail, tying him up, or any of the male submissive fantasies. The ultimate control is love. You do not autmatically have this control, you have to establish it. We have tried to give you the tools you need. You have to be dominant, but you have to be a caring dominant. When you gain this control, make sure he knows it. When he knows it, he will probably realize that the kinks are pale imitations of this form of control. Again, the kinks might not completely disappear, but they won't be so important. Humiliation For most submissives, humiliation is erotic. Humiliation weakens him, and when he is weaker, he has less willpower and is easier to control. But it isn't good for him to be weaker, and you don't want him to be weaker. So the issue for caring domination is satisfying a submission without humiliating him or making him weaker.. Punishment can also be erotic but weakening, perhaps when it points out his flaws or when he fears it. Do not punish him for his errors or faults, punish him for something obviously silly. If possible, choose a punishment that benefits him. What about doing something embarrassing? The test is how he will feel about it in the future. If it is just a game, or something that actually makes him stronger, he will not feel bad or guilty about it. If in the future he feels humiliated, embarrassed, or guilty, it wasn't a good idea. It's just a few things that might be useful for her to know and useful for him not to know. Exploring and enjoying will take you where you want to go. The most important part of these webpages was a loving, caring approach to domination and submission. But if you would like to read more, the index on your left has more pages for you to read. Being Submissive As far as we know, men are born submissive. The submissive man needs something like control or someone to submit to, at least some of the time. Submissive men rarely act submissive in real life. Without any control, he starts to kink. His kinks are about losing control. The strong dominatrix. Being tied up. He cannot have a fantasy about intercourse with a beautiful woman, because he would do that voluntarily. So he fantasizes about scenes where he is forced to do things he doesn't want to do. These can be ugly. Being degraded is erotic, but that makes him weak and easier to control. He does not choose to be submissive, and he does not choose his kinks. As far as we know, there is nothing he can do to stop them from forming. So he should not be blamed for his submissiveness or his kinks. Does he act out his fantasies? They do not really hurt anyone, and he should try to be happy. Many submissives use all the willpower they have to fight their fantasies. Then when their willpower is gone the fantasies win. So, bottom line, he might feel very guilty but he probably shouldn't. The cleanest form of submission, without any kinks, is service and worship. Imagine, if you had an infant, having a husband who is willing to do whatever you ask of him. Clean submission is an ideal; your husband almost certainly has kinks. Submission is intimately connected with sex. Heterosexual men want to submit to women. And they want to be controlled during sex. Even normally, a story about good sex includes losing control. The romantic crush is the strong feeling at the beginning of a http: Some aspects of the romantic crush are not that different from submission, and submission seems to trigger the exact same crush. The Good and Bad of Submissiveness Submissiveness receives no respect in our society, because it contradicts the image of a strong male. But submissive men are good people. They want to please others, and they submit to a higher moral code. That makes them caring, kind, considerate, polite, reliable, and responsible. Do you want a husband who thinks only of himself, or one that is moral and wants you to be happy? You also want a strong knight who can protect and provide for you and your children. It's in your genes. During courtship your mate had to show he was strong. But it might be nice if he accepted your direction, right? Especially when you know best, and especially to protect and provide for you and your children. Actually living with a submissive is not always this pleasant. If you turn off his submission, that's a disaster, for you and him. You want his love and devotion. See Living with a Submissive. The second problem is submissive kinks. They might offend your desire to see him as strong. But his kinks are not his fault, he did not choose them. And it is likely that they will decrease if you provide some domination and control. See Decreasing Kinks. So you have a problem, but it is not a large problem. Your husband is not an abuser, alcoholic, drug addict, compulsive gambler, philanderer, or criminal. If your husband is a submissive with kinks, you have only a small problem. And we want this to be a positive problem for you. It can lead to the submissive crush, improved communication and caring, and a good relationship. The Submissive Crush The romantic crush is a sudden falling in love. You think about the person you love, you want to be with him, you look eagerly for any clue that he like or does not like you. It feels wonderful and it is full of anguish. You probably fantasize about pleasing him. Males can have fantasies of sacrificing themselves for their loved one. Note how much this is like submissiveness. Anyway, submissiveness somehow triggers this same state. You should watch for this. When it occurs, his submissiveness isn't a game any more, it is for real. He will crave your attention, and he will be sensitive to disapproval. The submissive is looking for the "tie that binds". Sometimes it is literally a rope, sometimes it is some other submissive fantasy. But the ultimate control, and the natural control, is his love for you. Encouraging Clean Submission Encouraging Submission? Perhaps you do not want to encourage your husband to be submissive. But if he needs control and submission, he needs it. This website is about discouraging kinks and weakness; if there is a way to change his need for some control, we do not know it. And think twice before discouraging clean submission. If you make a competent and caring decision, you might want the power to enforce it. His dance of submission turns on your dominance. This webpage is about your dance of dominance turning on his clean submission. Remind Him He promised to be submissive and then when you asked him to do something, he forgot. This is natural. He has not learned to be submissive and you have not turned on his submission. The first thing you can do is simply remind him. Eroticism helps. Tell him he is not being a good slave. Remind him that a good slave is always obedient. He might need to be submissive yet not really know how to do it. Be patient with him and help him to learn submission and even to develop his own style. DO NOT. If he ever directly fights your domination, stop dominating him immediately. In other words, if you tell him to do something, and he says no, you are morally obligated to stop dominating. Give him a hug and pronounce him cured. Or have certain times for domination. This page is about what to do when he still wants to be submissive, he just forgets or loses his self-control but is now apologetic. If you give a command, he should either obey or explain why he thinks he shouldn't obey. Then it is your decision. If he just ignores your command, he is not respecting you. You will not feel dominant, and he will have difficulty feeling submissive. Again, if he is directly disobedient, that is very different and you should stop dominating. Get Real Power Ideally, he will be submissive because he wants to, or because he wants to turn on your dominance. But real power might help trigger his submissiveness. When you tie him up and he cannot escape, you have real power. When you lock him in a chastity device, you have real power. When you control his spending money, you have real power. When he first starts out, he might need some serious domination. You might even have to break him down a little, so that you are in charge and then can build him back up as a knight. We don't know. This is dangerous and hopefully you won't have to do it. If you do, think of it like an initiation. Be Caring and Trustworthy If you had a serious disease, you would want a doctor who was competent and cared for you. Then you could just accept and trust what he told you to do. You can call this trusting in authority, but it is also a light, pleasant style of submission. Everyone's different, but you probably want to teach your husband this style of submission. Your husband has been protecting himself his whole life, but that's not the happiest way for him to relate to you. He can experience this light submission if you are competent and caring. Caring means you care about HIM. Yes, you use him as a resource to care for your home and family. Yes, he should be caring for you. But he needs to be on the list too. You might think he can take care of his own happiness. This might not be true, because you make good judgments and he might appreciate your encouragement. Even if it was true, it http: Getting His Help If you tell him to do something he wants to do but is having a little trouble doing, he will want your domination and might open up that part of his personality. So tell him to enjoy himself. If he works to support you and your family, take responsibility. Encourage him to work, thank him for working, and give him an occasional boon. If he wants to exercise and needs a push, reward him for exercising. He Wants a Scene Doing a scene means acting out a fantasy. He might want you to spank him, tie him up, play the cruel school teacher, or whatever. Except as a boon to him, you almost never do the scene exactly as he describes. First, it is not good style. If you are following his directions, it seems like he is in charge. If that doesn't bother either of you, fine. But many submissives will not like the feeling of being in control. There are two very good reasons to change the scene. One is if it isn't good for him. You are in charge. If you decide the scene isn't good for his self-esteem, change it so that it is. Or don't do the scene. The other reason for changing his scene is so that you can enjoy it too. Take parts of his scene that you like and add ideas that you like. If you can't change it to something you want to do, then don't do it. Most people are turned off by at least one scene. Most women do not like crossdressing or pain. You can also introduce submissive games you might enjoy. He probably will enjoy them too. Tease and denial works well. Tying him up is also an easy game to play. Don't worry about teaching him something new. Our guess is that more fantasies are better than less, and the worst is if only one submissive fantasy is exciting for him. Ask him to describe himself or herself, as if you don't know him. Ask for a fantasy. Find some small area of his life to guide and control. Supppose he hasn't offered to obey you. If he sent you here, he is submissive and wants you to be dominant. Talk with him, or slowly ease your way into your role. For example, you could say something like "Do you want me to control your sex life? That might leave him confused. Elsewhere we describe a game of Double Domination, where you both start dominating each other. The short story has two parts. First, you should never do anything as a dominant that makes you feel guilty. It's your soul. It's the same thing if you are becomining angry with him for what you are doing. Just don't. The exception is when you are just starting. If you are receiving service or pampering, it might not seem fair to him, and that might trigger your guilt. Dominance and submission is strange that way, because he can enjoy giving your service and pampering you. If you are starting, and you feel things are going great, and he is happy, but by your training you also worry that things aren't fair, this is probably something you need to push through. Follow your heart, not your training. The Good Domme But if you need reassurance, or a reminder, here is our Description of the perfect Domme 1. She cares about him. She probably cares about her children, herself, him, family, friends, and the world, in that order. She does not make him smaller. She avoids any humiliation or degradation that might carry over into the real world and decrease his confidence or self-esteem. She tries not to blind-side him with anger. Actually, there is little good reason to be angry with a submissive. But anger and punishment are fair when he is disobedient. That includes careless work and passive agressive compliance. Unexpected anger is unfair. If he tries to obey her commands and please her, and she is still angry with him sometimes, whose fault is that? She uses her power over him to encourage his happiness and growth. So, when he tries to do something right, and she does not like the results, she is not angry or annoyed with him, and she does not punish him with her emotions. She is encouraging and appreciative. If she can be these things, she deserves every bit of his love, worship, and obedience. Your Wife The other side of our website helps fledgling dominants learn to be caring dominants. Our Caring Domination is designed to appeal to her. If you are ever going to approach your mate about her being dominant, the male fantasy will not work. Our four-step program lets you slowly introduce submission and dominance into a relationship. Or you can just explore hidden submissiveness. All we have right now is: You just have to make it clear that he is serving you. International Domme Directory http: You can post your experiences and questions on our Message Board. For comments about the website, email the webmanager at webmanager cair4. Around Her Finger How can you hurt someone you love? Post a new message: Store my name and email Notify me when I get a reply to my message: No Subject: She believes that a dominant woman can have a good, normal relationship, and she seems to be exploring caring domination. See also her contribution to our message board. There's no whips or chains, or humiliation, just a dominant woman. Akasha has excellent advice for starting domination and enjoying it, and developing your own style, not the male fantasy. A guide Amity Talks to Women is excellent tutorial for a learning how to be dominant and enjoy it, again building something that you enjoy, the not male fantasy. Being a Dominant This is an excellent article by Midori on being a dominant. Cosmopolitan tells how to incorporate light domination and submission into your sexual play. How to Worship Your Wife A serious reference for cross dressing is tri-ess. The website Amore Migliori "Better Love" , by Cynthia Hayes, will appeal to your selfishness and in passing mentions submissive activities not "encouraged" on this website. However, the real-life examples of orgasm denial all take place within loving relationships, and Ms. Hayes excellently describes the power of orgasm denial in creating a better relationship for both you and your man. A website with a selfish attitude towards domination but some good games is Real Women Don't Do Housework There was someone named Dark Whisper writing very good http: The link was Darkwhisper. But that link seems to be down. A reference for some of Dark Whisper's writing on humiliation is Darkwhisper. Dark Whisper thinks humiliation can be safely done in a scene play, but it is very important for the sub to know his dominant is not really serious with her comments and criticisms. TJ's story, part 4 IP: TJs story, part 4. It has been over six weeks since I last posted an installment to my story. For that, I suppose I owe an apology to any who may have cared to read all of this. So, forgive me, if Ive left anyone hanging. So much has happened itll be impossible to tell in the same kind of detail as I put into parts , so let me be more thematic in my approach. That was the beginning of a real turn-around in our sex life. More like an explosion. Before, we had been having sex maybe times a month. Weve had sex five out of the last six days. We are not getting nearly as much reading done as we used to, but neither of us is missing our books. Since Ive given up masturbation at least to the point of orgasm, though I still cant keep my hands off myself completely Ive asked a couple of times if she would mind jerking me off, since I do miss the feel of a hand-job. She didnt hesitate to jerk me off. She later said that tying me down didnt do anything for her, but since I seemed to like it, she did it. She has taken to the title of goddess, quite on her own, I might add. I had said once or twice that if she kept going the way she was, she was going to graduate from Lady to Queen to Goddess. Maybe she thinks she has. I dont know. She has no problem whatsoever with my idolatry. The best instance of goddess worship that weve engaged in came about this way. One night she was complaining about some sorry lotion shed bought that wasnt doing a thing for her skin. The first thing she asked for was a whole body massage with the new lotion. Ive rarely spent a better twenty minutes. A very worshipful experience for both of us. I think we can both get into this. By the way, what the scent of Dream Angels does to me now How this website has fit into the scheme of things. A lot of the things I have been telling my wife Ive lifted directly from this website. That meant, of course, she would have to explore domination. Admittedly, what she read was what I had been telling her, so there wasnt too much in it that was new. I dont know if anything else Ive ever read has come closer to saying what she needed to hear. Also, the part about the Submissive Crush is absolutely on the money. I dont know how many times Ive said to my wife, I am so whipped The only other material that Ive given her to read has been two pieces from Akashas website: Enjoying Female Dominance: I chose them because, while Lady Misatos site does have some very appealing stuff in it, it is as Miss Cynthia says elsewhere on this website a bit selfish in outlook. My wife would not buy the whole female supremacy attitude at all. My wife has made comments that lead me to believe shell consider femdom so long as she doesnt have to do it all the time; Akashas approach is scene-based, so this seems to be a fit. That is to say, no pouting, whining or hinting about it. This makes for good, clean submission. Ive tried to do that, but my wife has been putting very little effort into it. This has been very frustrating: Sure, I can get up at 5: Still, we both agree that it makes for really good sex. The times shes been thoughtful enough to say things like, you belong to me, your cock is mine, or Im going to use you to pleasure myself, Ive shuddered with an involuntary moan: Still, I sometimes prompt her to get her to say the things I want to hear, like are you using me? Obviously, Im topping from the bottom, but shes very good at taking a hint. I guess part of the urgency on my part is because Ive said the words so many times: I want to know that this hasnt been just a bunch of words. Am I really submissive or not? Shes pretty vanilla, but what if she got into spanking or something else painful? Would I be willing to take it? And how much could I take? Pain to the point of discomfort, to the point of tears, to the point of howling? If Im not willing to be submissive in those cases, am I really being submissive at all? Id like to think that all of this makes some kind of sense to somebody besides me. I need to offer another reflection on all of this. It felt so good being open to her like that, so vulnerable, so trusting. But something else has happened, too. I know why men built cathedrals to the Virgin during the middle ages. Even T. Although we are not blind to the benefits of size, these sexual and romantic preferences are not determined by conscious choice, nor are they always rational or desirable. So the fact that women prefer male partners who can — and often do — dominate them does not mean that women want to be dominated. The genetic payoff over evolutionary time for producing offspring with such men has simply been greater than any genetic costs of being dominated by them. Women risk aggression from their partners as part of a strategy to counteract the threat of violence from other men. While our biologically based preferences are largely outside our conscious control, they do not rigidly determine our behaviour or render us incapable of acting otherwise. We can resist our impulses and urges, and make reasoned choices about how we behave. Even in the modern world we continue to perpetuate cultural norms that place value on greater height and dominance in men, and on slightness and submission in women. To achieve gender equality, we must first tackle our unconscious biases. And culture is not fixed — as shown by the progress that society has already made towards gender equality. We can foster values that purposefully compensate for the flaws in our nature. Post-Castro Cuba and the cult of personality — Egham, Surrey. Religious accommodation on both sides of the pond: Different paths to a common norm? Front-end planning of capital projects: Available editions United Kingdom. The cliche tells us that women go for men who are tall, dark and handsome. Beatrice Alba , La Trobe University. This type can pretend to be drunk on half a beer. Or consenual blackmail. Pretend you put a drug in his drink, a rape drug, and see how he reacts Tell him its ok to submit, because you know the drug has made it impossible for him to resist. Try some versions of this. My Mistress and I are about to embark on our life journey of a female led marriage.. As I explore I come to realize how truly loving and nurturing this is going to be. Yes there is kink, wonderfully so. I can hardly wait to exchange vows. By mutual agreement I am to be the bride and Mistress my groom. I could not be happier. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. 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But some of our webpages explain about submissiveness. Why is he submissive? What can you change and Caring female domination can't you change? You are need to be dominant, caring, and competent. There is no replacement for exploring and seeing what you like and what works for you. But our webpages will explain how to be dominant and caring. It also Caring female domination to know where you are going.

We describe how to build a strong knight, clean submission, and a trusting submission.

Caring female domination

Most submissives sooner or later find the knight image appealing. But psychological destruction is Caring female domination erotic. A major tension of caring domination is being erotic and yet trying to avoid things that make him smaller. Goals of Caring Domination You should now know this is a good opportunity for you. Hopefully you have the spirit of love and caring, but this should also improve your relationship. You have three goals in dominating. You want to be happy, and you want him click be happy.

You have some real power. Encourage him to be a knight. To start, he might be more interested in being a slave, because he Caring female domination starving for control. But sooner or later he will warm to Caring female domination knight role.

Be in charge. You cannot just do what he says. Sooner Caring female domination later he will notice that he is in charge, and Caring female domination won't fulfill his needs. Also, he might not have very good judgment about what he needs. Yes, find out what he wants, but be in charge. A Trusting Submission Your husband probably has never been dominated. He has only fantasized about it and read about it. The male fantasy, and the male literature, is Caring female domination about the cruel dominatrix.

Your husband has no experience with caring domination. It's not in the typical male fantasy about the cruel dominatrix, but one of the good possibilities in caring domination is trusting submission. Suppose you had a serious disease. Would you want a doctor you could trust? You would want to know that Caring female domination doctor was competent and cared for you.

Then you could just accept and trust what your doctor advised. In essence, that's the trusting submission you might want to elicit in your husband. The idea is this. He doesn't trust you because you are always right. No one is always right. He doesn't trust you because your decisions are always better than his. They can't always be better.

He trusts you because you care about him and you work hard to make good decisions. And because he wants to feel. He will probably enjoy trusting submission, if he can find it.

He Caring female domination his life protecting himself from people who don't care and aren't competent. When i started counting my blessings quote.

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